English muffins and culturesickness

I woke up today feeling awfully homesick. Not necessarily homesick for home, though I did miss celebrating my lovely sister's 16th birthday. No, I was homesick for my culture. Culturesick? Sounds about right.

I think other PCVs will agree when I say that the months fly by, but the days are excruciatingly slow. Not everyday, obviously. Somedays I'm so busy I collapse as soon as I get home and I don't have time to reflect or complain about the power being out (again). But there are slow days, and they make me feel especially culturesick. Maybe it's because on slow days I do have time to internalize what's going on around me, and I don't like it.

I know it's childish, but on these days I feel like every flaw, hardship, and annoyance of living in rural El Salvador is a personal slight against me and my American-ness.

Sometimes it's just the giant spider living in my shower head or the wall shaking ranchera music at 5am that makes me feel completely inadequate, like campo life is spitting in my face. No one cares about my thoughts, or my feelings, or my sleep schedule. I'm the outsider who needs to fit in here, and if I can't take it I could go back where I come from!

Some of these slights are more real than perceived. Like after a meeting when my counterpart said that if I was expecting to work with a partner I should have gotten married. Or when I was called a bruja by young children when I set the minimum age for an art class at 12 years old. And how about that time I was told that I'm less of a woman because I used a machine to wash my clothes? That one hurt right in the feminism.

I do work hard to understand and integrate into my host culture, but sometimes it's just too much. The slights I feel for being an outsider are too real and they hurt. I wake up culturesick for America where independence, structure, and gender equality are treasured norms. For where I feel comfortable and understood. (Or at the very least, I'm not called a witch.)

So what do I do when I'm feeling culturesick? I make comfort food. I make... English muffins.

I endured quite a few more slights during the process of making these English muffins. No one thought I knew what I was doing, that I couldn't possibly be capable of making bread without at least 1lb of sugar, and I didn't want to listen to their sage advice regarding vegetable oil and kneading. I made them anyways, and they were the best damn things I'd eaten in weeks. The women in my host family even reluctantly admitted that yes, they were tasty (Score one for Second Goal!).

I might not always love this culture or strive to be pura salvadoreña, but I do appreciate the challenge of fitting in. Because that's what Peace Corps is- the challenge to change. Today was slow and I felt culturesick, but I'm also aware that in 16 months I'll be able to live my privileged and free American life again. This time, though, I'll have a greater understanding of what it's like to feel completely on the outside in a culture that doesn't totally accept you (or how you cook.) And THAT ladies and gentlemen will not only make me a better person, but a better American as well.

English muffins might not completely bridge the culture gap, but it's a delicious and buttery start.

I went to the big city to buy real butter specifically for making these English muffins. Absolutely worth it. 

Incredibly delicious butter fried muffins cooling on a tortilla toaster. 

Aysel liked pan inglaterra! (Only I would get photobombed by a chicken.) 

I love you, English muffins. 

More PCV Visits

I've been on a PCV visiting roll lately! This week I visited PCVs Amanda and Emily in northern Morazán. We didn't get to Amanda's site until late in the afternoon, but it was a welcome sight to see her clean, flea free pet dogs. They even had flea collars! We had a nice dinner with her host mom and set off the next morning to Emily's site about an hours walk away. (Keep in mind that 1 hour mountainous walk = 3 hours normal walking.) Leo, an artist from my community, is building a table and chairs from bamboo for a project Emily and Amanda are collaborating on. The idea is to have kids find new and creative uses for bamboo through a multi-school competition. Leo and I are currently working on a grant to buy art supplies for a drawing and painting class, so it really helped to spend the day together and learn about the grant Em & Amanda are writing. Today we have our first meeting with the kids in the community, wish me luck!

Pearla, my favorite.

This ugly Chihuahua was not.  

Amanda, pointing out that the little houses in the distance is our destination. 

Bamboozle!

Teamwork makes the dream work.  

Leo and an almost finished table! 

Emily, me and Amanda with the bamboo table

Aysel Learns English Part II

Back by popular demand! The much anticipated follow up to "Hello" is Please and Thank You! 

I'd like to thank the Academy, and the English language. Thank you!

Rainy season

We've officially hit rainy season here in El Salvador. May was a smattering of storms and clouds, but June is sure to bring daily downpours and of course, mold.

But I'm ok with it. I'm known around PCES as The Girl Who Rain Dances. Throughout the dry season I experienced what true thirst is and how this dusty mountainside lives without access to water. I'm honestly dreading December when the skies start to dry up again. If I take away anything from my PC service, it will be a profound appreciation for clean drinking water.

I've celebrated the onset of rainy season by relaxing. I've maxed out several data plans FaceTiming with my family and listening to the greatest team in hockey advance in post-season (Gimme a win tonight, Hawks!). I also spent the majority of yesterday hanging out with my host family. I colored with Aysel, watched the now ex-president's farewell rant on public access TV with my host dad, and ate tamales with Ive. I also earned the nick name Tamale Ale because I gorged myself on 8 tamales. So much for that post-USA-visit diet...

I justify the lazy time to myself because I had a heck of a week. After the sneak attack ADESCO meeting on Tuesday, I took it upon myself to invite all of the women of my casario to participate in electing a taller. Talleres (pronounced thai-airs) are essentially workshops. Cuidad Mujer, the NGO we're soliciting to lead the taller, gave us three options: bread making, food preparation, cosmetology, and sewing. I think they're all great opportunities for the women in my community and wanted to make sure everyone got a say.

Well the thing is, I live on a densely populated mountainside. To invite one vecina, you need to invite the other, and the other. You'd think the neighbor could just share the info next door, but it's really important in Salvadoran culture to be personally invited. It's a sign of respect and most people can't read, so you can't just leave an invite. Up the mountain, down the mountain. Side step the cows and hurdle the poop. It took me 6 exhausting hours and I still missed some women.

But wow, was I surprised. The women showed up! Like, 23 women! That's a pretty decent turn out.

I'm especially proud of my new friend Lorena who was the first to arrive. She's a young woman who lives with her husband and daughter in a bamboo and mud shack built on to the side of the mountain. She has the most gorgeous view of the valley, hands down. She's also never been invited to anything before in her life. It makes sense now that she was terrified of this clumsy gringa climbing her way up the boulders to her house. People just don't make the effort. Her coming to the meeting is a direct consequence of me visiting her, and that makes me feel like it all paid off.

The meeting itself went well, even though my counterpart backed out and left me to lead the whole thing by myself. Just me with 23 women + all their wiggly, whiney small children. I'm proud that I pulled it off and we had a nice, clean voting process (sewing won). But I did have a moment with my counterpart afterwards. Words were exchanged, and let's just say that was the last time I lead a meeting for the ADESCO. I work with the ADESCO, not for them. Explaining my role in the community is an on-going process.

And now we wait to see if our request is granted and we're sponsored for a taller. I'm lead to believe the microfinance insitution pulls some weight with the NGO, so our chances are good. Either way, I foresee more days of invitations in the future.

Help stop the violence

When I hear "violence prevention" I tend to think about the annoying, nasally man who passed out graphic anti-meat pamphlets on the quad saying "Help stop the violence."I will never forget this man's voice as he was a permanent fixture on my numerous campus tours. I don't remember what I ate for lunch yesterday, but I certainly remember this man's voice. Sheesh.

I never thought I'd actively work to prevent violence, but here I am in one of the most violent countries in the world (if you believe the US State Department). Isn't this a good place to start?

Sure it is!

My ADESCO is currently working on three projects that aim to prevent violence in the community, all of which I'm proud to be helping out. We're starting up a painting club for youth, a women's group to learn a trade, and building two lighted bus stop shelters in the busiest desvios. The idea is to keep the kids off the street, put the mothers in a better economic position, and chase the bolos away with light like the blood-sucking vampires they are.

Of course, no one said "Hey! Let's do some projects that prevent violence!"That would be too simple and organized. What really got my ADESO moving was a huge kick in the butt from the microfinance institution currently dangling a lump sum of money in front of their faces. I swear, I saw dollar signs in their tiny black pupils.

Now unfortunately, writing about my work activities on this blog has proved to be a sure fire kiss-of-death. Remember that women's savings group? I was asked to stop coming to the meetings. Or the #feria2014 we had in my site way back? The ADESCO absolutely fell to pieces after the reina was crowned. So I won't say anything too positive, too reassuring, or too concrete about these projects. Such is the work of a PCV.

But if these might work out? And they might prevent some of the violence in my community? Then I guess it would be alright with me.

Whatchu know 'bout campo life, fool?

"Campo life" has a whole new meaning for me after I visited my friend and fellow PCV's site. I went for a Friday to Monday stint and yeah, that was enough for me. I actually had a great time. It was like being a city girl going to summer camp for the first time! We played sports, did arts and crafts, baked, watched movies, jumped off cliffs, did an English class and a ton more.

I thought I was living campo life before visiting Rachel. I am, if you consider access to water, education levels, community resources, etc. But I don't have to forge a river as part of my daily commute. Needless to say my eyes are open and I have seen the light! I'll never take the nicer parts of my community for granted again. Thanks Rach for a great time! 

We are too cute. Now where's the nearest wifi?

Rio Torola. 

The other side is Honduras. 

Apparently, this is a cool place to jump off from. 

Jump off?! Are you kidding me?

#YOLO

I lived!!!! Can't wait to go back when the water isn't so dirty. Thanks a lot, Rachel. 

The pulley chair men use to get to work in Honduras every day. Talk about commuting! 

Rachel showed me how to make a self watering planter. Hopefully I'll have some basil in a few weeks!

Pasteles. The insides are stuffed with mashed potatoes. 

I brought some lemons from my tree and we made lemon bars. 

Actually, Rachel and her siblings made the lemon bars. I just ate them.  Great job!

Back in Action!

When you're living and working in a developing nation, sometimes things work really well and other times they don't work at all. Ex: my internet modem. Luckily I just needed to take it in to the big city to get reset to factory settings, and now I'm back in blogy business! Good thing, too- I think my mother is going to have a conniption if I don't get some updates posted soon.

It's been a little over a month since I posted, and yes, a whole lot has happened. The most important thing that's happened is that I went home.

Let me rephrase that- I went HOME! My short visit to Texas was great, but it wasn't home. I was in the USA a grand total of 6 days, 2 days of traveling and 2 days back in BloNo to walk in my master's graduation. Me and my cousin Christi graduated together for undergrad at ISU, and it was too good an opportunity to celebrate again (even though I have a ways to go on the thesis part). So, thanks to my plane ticket patron, I headed home to experience all my favorite things and spend time with family and friends.

First meal back in the Houston airport. It's like I was transported back to my freshmen 15 days... 

How I know I'm home. 

Obviously, I need to get my Louie's breadsticks fix!

So goooood. 

We had a girls lunch with my cousin and grandma too. I loved it!

I talked to my sister's high school Spanish class about Salvadoran culture and learning Spanish via immersion. They were great and I had a lot of fun! Hey Mr. Corzo's class! 

Why are all my pictures of food? Portillo's hotdog because Chicago. 

My dad's pizza. I craved this all. the. time.

I got my mom a hammock from the hammock guy in my municipality. I think she likes it!

Pizza heaven. 

Me and my dad, the two mastas!

Miss you girls!

Graduation round 2!

My favorite pic of us. 

Our proudest accomplishment? Brewe-has. 

I tried to cram as much family time in as possible when I was home. I got to see my grandma every day to my delight. My goal was to not be too too busy and just enjoy being home. I think I accomplished that!

I also saw my sister play in two lacrosse games. She did great! The first one was on the way home from the airport and I nearly froze to death in 50 degrees. The second one was a balmy 80s. Chicago weather- some things never change! 

On that note, not a whole lot was different. I was really happy about that, too. One of my biggest fears about being in PC is that I'll come home and everyone I know will be different and I won't recognize anything. I feel better after being home, like my batteries are recharged. I'm nearing the 1-year in country mark and getting closer to being home permanently every day.