Back in Action!

When you're living and working in a developing nation, sometimes things work really well and other times they don't work at all. Ex: my internet modem. Luckily I just needed to take it in to the big city to get reset to factory settings, and now I'm back in blogy business! Good thing, too- I think my mother is going to have a conniption if I don't get some updates posted soon.

It's been a little over a month since I posted, and yes, a whole lot has happened. The most important thing that's happened is that I went home.

Let me rephrase that- I went HOME! My short visit to Texas was great, but it wasn't home. I was in the USA a grand total of 6 days, 2 days of traveling and 2 days back in BloNo to walk in my master's graduation. Me and my cousin Christi graduated together for undergrad at ISU, and it was too good an opportunity to celebrate again (even though I have a ways to go on the thesis part). So, thanks to my plane ticket patron, I headed home to experience all my favorite things and spend time with family and friends.

First meal back in the Houston airport. It's like I was transported back to my freshmen 15 days... 

How I know I'm home. 

Obviously, I need to get my Louie's breadsticks fix!

So goooood. 

We had a girls lunch with my cousin and grandma too. I loved it!

I talked to my sister's high school Spanish class about Salvadoran culture and learning Spanish via immersion. They were great and I had a lot of fun! Hey Mr. Corzo's class! 

Why are all my pictures of food? Portillo's hotdog because Chicago. 

My dad's pizza. I craved this all. the. time.

I got my mom a hammock from the hammock guy in my municipality. I think she likes it!

Pizza heaven. 

Me and my dad, the two mastas!

Miss you girls!

Graduation round 2!

My favorite pic of us. 

Our proudest accomplishment? Brewe-has. 

I tried to cram as much family time in as possible when I was home. I got to see my grandma every day to my delight. My goal was to not be too too busy and just enjoy being home. I think I accomplished that!

I also saw my sister play in two lacrosse games. She did great! The first one was on the way home from the airport and I nearly froze to death in 50 degrees. The second one was a balmy 80s. Chicago weather- some things never change! 

On that note, not a whole lot was different. I was really happy about that, too. One of my biggest fears about being in PC is that I'll come home and everyone I know will be different and I won't recognize anything. I feel better after being home, like my batteries are recharged. I'm nearing the 1-year in country mark and getting closer to being home permanently every day. 

Chalk!

The kids love sidewalk chalk! Unfortunately, chalk reminds me of the countless hours I spent on my hands and knees chalking the quad in college for WZND, PRSSA, ISU Hockey, etc. But the kids liked it and that's all that matters. Thank you mom and dad for sending the chalk!

I came outside and there were drawings everywhere! 

Extreme hopscotch. 

Aysel the artist. Making circles and stuff. 

Very concentrated. 

The U S of A

Did I really go to the US? It doesn't feel like it. I spent my first US vacation with two days traveling through airports and three nights in different hotels over the course of four days. It went by really fast.

I had a very good time shopping for things I need, eating out with my family, sitting in a hot tub (hello hot water!), and just enjoying America's luxury.

Here's some general observations I have about going to America after living 9 months in the campo:

1. America is rich. Excessively so. The first night we stayed at this beautiful resort in San Antonio. It was huge, there were fireplaces and big leather couches and a Starbucks stand. The grounds were so pretty- I forgot what landscaping looked like. But of course, someone has to clean the place and rake the leaves and wash the towels from the Texas shaped heated pool. Who do you think does that kind of work? The luxury of our country is built on the work that we don't see, from construction to food service. I felt incredibly aware of the "fancy" things like window panes and carpet, water you can drink straight outta the faucet. I was overwhelmed and annoyed because I'll never, ever be able to express just how comfortable America is compared with a developing nation. (Especially a developing nation that is constantly losing its population to service the American lifestyle. Salvadorans are on their way to being the third largest Latino group in the US. I swear I heard the powerwash guy say puchica.) 
2. Americans eat so much. We went to a delicious TexMex restaurant in downtown San Antonio. All the portions were huge! Two servings of fajitas could feed my whole host family. I ate more meat in that restaurant that I normally do in a month, and it was decadent. The margarita was good too. 
3. On that note- if you're ever in Texas make sure to stop at Buc-ee's. Ridiculous.
4. Even though Hispanics make up 38% of the population of Texas, I never spoke Spanish or saw many tienda signs. I was let down. Maybe they keep that out of the touristy places or maybe Spanish has truly become my second language and I didn't notice the difference. Either way, I was hoping I'd be able to show my parents how I can roll my rrrrrrr's. 
5. I got off the plane and went through a fancy customs kiosk. It was cool! But it stunned me, literally stunned me, how professional the airport security was. They called me "mam" and said "please move this way". A police officer smiled and said "have a nice day". Professionalism is something we DEFINITELY take for granted in America. It's expected that you will be treated with respect and courtesy when you enter a service situation where money changes hands, like a restaurant or a salon. Just browse Yelp! if you want to learn more about America's entitlement complex with professionalism. Half the reviews are people complaining about the "service." Too slow, waiter didn't give me extra cheese, blablabla. This is just laughable when you live in a country where a high school education distinguishes you. Where a "good job" is line cook in a fried chicken joint. Professionalism? People are late, answer their phones in meetings, sometimes even drink beer during training. Professionalism is not a value in this culture. Maybe because El Salvador doesn't have as strong a service sector they don't demand professionalism of others or themselves (Obviously, this applies to the campo. I'm sure people who can afford to go to a salon in the capital expect better treatment.) 
6. Also when I was in the airport I saw a man in a suit for the first time in months. He was like an alien creature to me. A clean pair of jeans is professional here. I mean, really though, most men work in the fields so it's not unreasonable to uphold this standard. But I guess I forgot that there are men and women who lead companies and work in big offices, and coincidentally, dress in nice clothes. 
7. I love diversity. It was so reassuring to see different races and nationalities in the same place at the same time. There was a certain time in history where being mestizo was illegal in El Salvador, so they stamped out any diversity that could have prospered here early on. Everyone is just.... Salvadoran. There's very little variation in that. I've never lived anywhere so homogeneous before PC, and it was nice to be back in America where differences are celebrated. 
8. I brought back a ridiculous amount of toys for the kids thanks to my friends and family back home. I had a fun time giving them out. Sidewalk chalk is a huge hit. I like seeing the kids happy, but it's kinda funny. Aysel's mom guards the crayons I gave her so they don't get broken, but the boys have already destroyed the lego set. It's a perfect example of the culture here- you either squander everything you got (like remezas) or you pinch and scrimp and hope you'll have enough to last til tomorrow. 
9. Honestly, it felt good to be back in my site. Everything is familiar here, I know people and they know me. I'm comfortable here, I can relax. Even the overcrowded buses and cicadas were welcome sights to behold. Being a tourist in San Antonio was not a very fulfilling experience. Next time I go to the US, I'm going HOME. 

***I forgot to mention that the Riverwalk is beautiful, I loved the architecture. Go on the boat tour because it's owned by the local government in San Antonio. Also, thank you very much to my parents for paying for my plane ticket and bringing me on spring break. Thank you to grandma for brownies and toys, grandma for my daily rooster defeating earplugs, Christi for all important t-shirts and toys, Jackie for life sustaining coffee, Deeds for dinero, Kelly and Don for scrunchies and yoga shorts and everything else. I loved everything and I'm so fortunate to have you wonderful people in my life! 

PC guilt

I had always wanted to write a witty, well written blog post about the pitfalls of PC guilt. It's an outrageous, only-happens-with-Peace-Corps-Volunteers phenomenon that one day I will rant about. But this is not that day.

Honestly, I'm exhausted. Physically, mentally and emotionally I am spent. This week I've had to deal with death, suicide, near death experiences, and so much else. (Before you get all up in arms- none of these things happened to me or were malicious in any way. Just a sad week in the community.)

I'm leaving for the US soon for my first trip back. It's been 9 long months without American comforts, my family, my friends. It's all too easy to take a mental vacation and think about what I want to order at Starbucks (though it's almost always a coffee frap), what nail color I want to get with my mani/pedi (I'm thinking Tiffany blue), and just check out completely. I really, really can't wait for this trip.

That's where the PC guilt kicks in. PC guilt comes in many forms.

Feeling sick and watching 30 Rock all afternoon? Guilty.

Hoarding Cheese-itz from your host family because they're SPECIAL from the US? Guilty.

The PCV next door legalized a woman's group, built a bridge, and saved a basket of newborn puppies from drowning? Guilty.

The last PCV did all these great things, when are you going to do anything? Guilty. 

Also, when you get home after teaching English class, and your class went well and you visited a community member so.... you get to take a break now. Right?

It had been a long, terrible week. I earned a break. I needed a break. But I saw on my calendar that it was my community guide's granddaughter's 9th birthday. Her mom left to go to the US in January and I think she's been pretty torn up about it. I mean, who knows when she'll get to see her again? My host nephew went 11 years without seeing his mom. All I have to do is wave my American passport and get on a direct flight home.

Guilty.

So I drag myself outta the hammock, put on some stretched out thread bare clothes and hike it up the mountain to her house. And you know what? I'm glad I did. I always feel better after listening to the angel on my shoulder, even if she makes me feel like a guilty turd.