Giving of the cheap plastic toys: Part II

This year was decidedly more fancy than last year. Some girls got Frozen princess dolls and there were minutos (shaved ice and red syrup), soda, AND cookies. The mayor also made sure to give out aprons to the moms in the crowd with his political party and name stamped on the front. Oh, and he gave a stump speech letting us know that he grew up dirt poor, too. (Just like all of you!). Oi, when are these elections over?

I wouldn't be so bitter if he didn't scoop me and a crippled boy for a photo op. I actually know this child well and I wonder if he ever gets tired of politicians asking to take a picture with him.

My neighbor who loves screaming my name when I walk by. Very docile in this pic.

The boy's line.

Much campaigning. But this is actually much more organized than last year. 

My bichos. Aysel didn't like the doll they gave her so she got a car too! Don't let the bow fool you- she's a total tomboy. 

I've also realized juuuuust how long I've been here. For example, I know women who have conceived, carried, and gave birth. Their babies are adorable. And it felt good to talk with all the moms and kids I knew in the crowd. Last year I kind of awkwardly gave out the toys. Sometimes I feel like I'm trapped here for-ev-er, but then I realize I won't even be here for the annual giving of the crappy plastic toys next year. It's the beginning of the end :(

The end of a long year

I don't think I have ever been more anxious for anything in my life than to go home IN 8 DAYS. It's all I think about and all I really have to talk about. It's what keeps me calm and collected when the boys are screaming for no other reason than to make more noise and my host mom tells me off for not washing my curtain for a whole year (gasp!). Which means it's absolutely ridiculous that I'm a little sad I won't get to immediately cross off the final month of 2014 on my self-motivation poster.

I thought the stickers were fitting. I'm big on self-motivation if you can't tell. 

It's been a long year, my innumerable band of devoted followers. I know I may have a tendency to, well, complain a bit here on my blog. I'm sure if you search my blog for booming religious ranchera music (that's actually playing as I type this), inhumane heat, and dastardly failed projects... you would get many a hits. There are lots of times I come here to write something out just so I can stop obsessing over it. I do try to portray both sides of the story, but at the end of the day this is my place to share my particular experience. I even have a disclosure statement that says so! Crossing off the months has always put to rest the troubles of the previous month and given me a fresh start for the next. PC is a marathon, not a sprint. There is way too much time to focus on the bad stuff if you don't mentally exfoliate every month. Shoot, mentally exfoliate every day! Now that I'm at the end of 2014, I can look back and remember the good times a lot quicker than the bad.

And there have been many good times, too. There's a lot of good stuff that doesn't make the blog. Like, yesterday Aysel was walking around with some leaves in a giant basket on her head screaming "Fresco! Fresco for sale!" like a street vendor. She's so darn cute and I love her imagination. And there's also the times when these two girls next door call me "Ale Bonita" when I walk by. They're right- I am beautiful. And I always get a kick out of embarrassing Ana at the pupusaria. That poor angsty girl.

I've been thinking about a New Years resolution for 2015 but I haven't thought of anything that sticks. I remember what I wrote on New Years day 2014 and little did I know but that resolution was the most important thing I could have done. Sticking through the hard times, the times that sometimes overshadow the good that happens, has resulted in such a beautiful experience.

So, I won't cross off the last month of 2014 on the 31st. I'll be poppin' champagne on a boat!!! No, just kidding. My bed time is 9pm now, I don't even know if I'll make it to midnight. I will, however, do some mental exfoliation when I'm at home. After all, 2015 is sure to be a big year, too.

My girl

Everybody who's talked to me in the last year and a half knows that I'm head over heels for my girl Aysel. We've been spending a lot of quality time together around the house. Since she knows how to handle my iPad better than most adults, I let her go wild with the apps and camera. (Too bad I haven't had enough time or strong enough internet to update my apps so they tend to spontaneously shut down.) Sometimes I snap some adorable pics, too.

We like to draw together. 

On paper as big as her.

Who needs snow when you've got corn husks!?

Workin hard or hardly workin, Aysel?

Yesterday I went to the Ciudad Mujer inauguration and it was... typical. Very hot, lots of prom dresses, some woman shoved me into the curb and I got sick from the comedor food. Although the organization is technically separate from a political party the guest speakers definitely trumped up the party who largely supports them, which left me feeling awkward per usual. I genuinely do appreciate what the organization stands for and how they provide cancer screenings and reproductive health information to rural women, but of course there's got to be some political component and that may complicate things for an apolitical volunteer like me. For example, even though my three host sisters gladly participated in the sewing workshop in October they refused to come to the inauguration because they don't support the political party that supports Ciudad Mujer. I came home to a hail storm of who went from the community and who they told people to vote for and did I give a speech? (They clearly misunderstood the amount of people at the inauguration. For once I was just a nobody getting pushed around and having my seat stolen just like the rest of 'em.)

It's all very complicated and I'll be happy when the mid-term elections are finally over in March.

And for some reason the women of my casario were directed to sit in the ONE ROW that was in the gap between canopy tents where the sun was beating down. I sat for a whole 10 minutes then was overcome with a "Oh hell no" attitude and moved to a row more in the shade. I tried to convince the women I was with to move with me to the dark side, but it's typical here to only accept what is given to you so they stayed put and tried shielding themselves from the sun for the next 3 hours.

Too many people. This isn't even half. 

It was absolutely ridiculous trying to find our bus afterwards, just like the other 8,000 women who attended. That's when I was shoved out of some woman's way into oncoming traffic and hit the curb. I shouted a variety of expletives in English, my native tongue that's adapt to swearing, and I think that's about when my women's group gave up hope of leaving and congregated on the road partition. When we did finally meet up with our bus an hour later we were exhausted, sun burnt, and defeated.

I took some much needed alone time when I got home to think. When I look at Aysel I sometimes feel like I want to adopt her and take her to the US where I could give her a good education and recreation and libraries and all the amazing opportunities I had as a kid. But that's crazy. She has a loving family who would never let her go and I don't truly want a 3 year old kid. However, I think Aysel is only ever going to have those things if a million little changes happen across the country at the personal, community, and institutional levels. I have no idea if that'll happen in her lifetime.

I think the goals that Ciudad Mujer have are important and start conversations with women who don't tend to think critically about their lives' obstacles and opportunities. They have their work cut out for them. I hope that someday this country will be a safer and brighter place for all little girls, but especially my girl Aysel.

Keeping busy (or not)

I'm totally checked out right now. I would try to blog more about my daily life, but my daily life is pretty boring. I'm just trying to keep myself occupied until I go on vacation. Literally, what do I have to tell my vast population of devoted followers?

I've been super in to making homemade gourmet popcorn. Well, it's not really gourmet. I tried making a lemon zest popcorn but it was so bitter, even he dogs wouldn't eat it. I just like popping the corn!

I decorated my mosquito net with tinsel and ornaments. My host family, like many Evangelicals here, doesn't celebrate Christmas. No tree, no music, no presents. And that's completely OK. Sometimes I think how interesting it would have been to serve in a Muslim country or a country with a strong indigenous population. I've learned a lot about El Salvador, and now I can appreciate the differences a little more. Even though it was on the depressing side, I'm really happy I experienced Christmas here last year. However.... I have a X-mas playlist on Spotify that I refuse to turn down and I will put tinsel on my mosquito net BECAUSE IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR, DAMMIT!

I'll be hoooome for Christmaaaas

Aysel helped with the ornaments. So cute!

I spend a lot of time reading and listening to podcasts in the hammock on our porch. I helped move around the fijoles that we dried out for storage through the terrible, obnoxious, million degree summer coming up. Better believe I'm personally preparing myself for summer. I have a shopping list of "loose fitting comfortable" clothes that I can sweat profusely in. I hope Chicago in winter will understand my needs.

This is my view. Canello sometimes chills by the pila.

I attended a graduation for a bunch of workshops that happened in the pueblo. I feel like my pueblo's got a lot going on, but it never makes it's way out to the rural areas where my community is. I might try spending more time there next year. I have some goals for my last 9 months, and I'm sure I'll need some help from the pueblo people. Leo, my art class guy, invited me to the graduation.

There was a painting, anil, and cosmetology workshop. 

Anil is natural tie-dye. I made a shirt like this when I was in training. 

Art class is going strong. Class size is manageable, but I'm struggling with the lazy male child syndrome. I can describe this pervasive phenomenon as a male child, probably around 10 years old, who when given a simple task, stares blankly or causes a ruckus until his mother/aunt/sister/grandmother swoops in and does the work for him. My mouth literally hit the floor when the three boys from my household skipped out on the task of drawing a straight line (with the help of a ruler) when their aunt did it for them during art class. I still get frustrated when I see this because I see a million things happening: the woman is losing her own time in art class, the boys aren't learning, once again a female is taking on simple work that a male refuses to do, the boys have no grit or resiliency and those are important buzzwords! I get frustrated for maybe 5 minutes then I have to move on. If there's one thing I've learned throughout my, ahem, 18 months here it's that you can't overthink or fixate when people do something "wrong."

This week I'm heading to an inauguration for Cuidad Mujer, the organization that provided the sewing workshop for women in my community. They're sending a private bus out to pick us up, so I think they really want to make this inauguration a big deal. I have no idea what the inauguration is for, but I'm going to hang out with my friends and hopefully snag some refrigerio. Wish I had a "I just came for the refrigerio" t-shirt. That needs to exist.