I seen some things

***Don't read this if you're squeemish. Like, for real. Just don't.

I saw the grossest thing of my life today. Well you see, there's a man in my canton who has cancer in his leg so the ADESCO is raffling off a baby cow to raise money for a prosthetic. Me and a young female member of the directiva (those are rare in ADESCOs)  went house to house selling the tickets. It was a great way for me to get to know people and whatnot.

So I'm feeling pretty happy that I'm out of the house and doing some good in the community. We stopped at her friend's house first. She was supposed to walk with us but her brother's wife had to go into town and what had happened was... Yeah, she wasn't coming. My counterpart cold called some local organizations to ask for donations and I waited outside.

The old man of the family came in from the fields, sat down in the hammock and asked for his breakfast. I tried talking to him, but he wasn't interested in the sweaty ginga. So I just sat quietly and looked around the place. They have chickens, dogs, a cat, and a turkey. A turkey! Have you ever seen a live turkey's face up close? They are so ugly! It gobbled at me and I got scared. I mean, it looked like Freddy Krueger.

There were three puppies, all different ages. The youngest was a scrappy little thing with fur missing. It was skinny and looked like it had fleas, so I kept stomping at him to make him go away. I'm reading the letter the hospital wrote about the young man's cancer and how expensive the prosthetic is, and I hear little vomit noises coming from the floor.

I look down and the youngest puppy had thrown up, maybe about 5 feet from me. I was digusted, of course, because it's gross. But then I noticed the long white worms wriggling around in the poop brown vomit. They were really long worms, like from the tip of your middle finger to the base of your palm. And they were actively wriggling around on the dirt.

Then the puppy ate his worm vomit.

At this point I have the watery mouth signal that I'm going to throw up too, so I grab my backpack and head outside to the street. After a while my counterpart called me back in. The old man told his daughter that the dog threw up, so she should clean the floor. The 2 year old girl who has been sitting next to me THE WHOLE TIME is still drawing on last year's calendar, like it's totally cool that the puppy has worms. She'll probably play with the puppy later today.

I feel sick just writing this. Oi. But I tell you hwhat- I am going to wash all my fruit and vegetables 10 more times tonight.

Crap

Sunday, September 15, 5:30pm

Warning: This post contains the word "crap" 20 times, including the title. Content might not be suitable for young children. 

I've felt like crap the past couple days. Literally. I stepped in dog crap on Friday. It got all up in between my toes and Angelica had to help me scrub my feet. It's pretty normal to step in crap though, because the street dogs are always crapping where ever they get the urge. As much as it sucks to step in crap, I gotta admit it is pretty funny to watch a dog relieving himself in the middle of the street when the bus is barreling up the road. They get this look of utter and complete terror like, Oh CRAP, how am I going to finish this before I get ran over!?! But I digress. 

It's been raining a lot. The news said it rained for 72 hours straight. It's horrible weather for clothes and shoes and cute purses you brought from the US. I was doing some spring cleaning because I'll be leaving for my site in a few weeks, and why not clear up some of the crap that's all over my room? Well, I should've started cleaning weeks ago because I found my cute US purse covered in white fuzzy crap. The white fuzzy crap? It's mold. Thick, musty, mold. 

So much mold. It had its own ecosystem. 

I got nervous and took out everything I own. I have some bras and a pair of flats that have succumbed to the white fuzzy crap. Just to be safe, I took out my fancy button downs and dress pants so I could wash them. My host mom can't sit still, so she took my clothes and started soaking them in the big bucket. Ya know, the one you keep your beans in and wash your underwear.

I showed my host mom my purse and asked her what's the best way to clean mold. No problem, she said. I'll clean it for you, she said. 

She sticks my purse with all the white fuzzy crap in the big bucket with the nicest clothes I own. Splashes it around. Gets it all in there. With my clothes... My nice, fancy clothes... 

Crap. 

I've also had a bout of stomach troubles resulting in a lot of crap. It's really a dangerous game of Russian roulette whenever my stomach starts to rumble. I feel like the dogs in the street, except I'm trying not to crap and the bus that's coming for me is an explosive stomach. 

I've been laying in my bed for a few hours, as comfortable as can be on my stiff foam mattress. I'm stick of getting up every 45 minutes or so. But, honestly,  the alternative would be to crap my pants, and I'm not about to let that happen. PCVs always say: it's not if you crap your pants during your service, but when. Not today, Peace Corps Gods! Not today. 

My host mom won't take no for a answer when she brings out the atol. Now call me crazy but when you're already experiencing liquid stomach troubles it seems like a bad idea to be drinking liquified corn. I sip it anyways, because I need to "warm up my stomach." It's gross, lukewarm, and has corn skin swimming in it. I hate this crap. 

Ew.

To top it all off, I watched my bootlegged P.S. I Love You DVD in between latrine runs. I just cried the whole time and got really homesick. I want to be sick my way, and sit alone for hours on end watching movies and drinking Gatorade. I don't want atol and I don't want faulty medical advice and I don't want to have to justify needing my space! The cultural chokehold is starting to get to me, I think. But it's all part of the process, right? People don't do PC because they want to be comfortable. 

Sometimes you're just gonna feel like crap.